


If Mirrors Could Talk (Mine Would Say A Lot)

by Morning66



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28346526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morning66/pseuds/Morning66
Summary: Before there was Harry Potter and a haggard, broken ex-prisoner, before there were shards of glass and tears falling like blood, before there was Aberforth Dumbledore and the Second Wizarding War, there were two boys and two mirrors.(Or a brief and abridged oral history of the best friendship to ever grace the Wizarding World)
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. Third Year

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!!! 
> 
> Got this idea reading Texting fics!! There’s some great ones out there and they inspired me! Basically, this is a series of conversations between James and Sirius using their mirrors throughout their years at Hogwarts and beyond. I’m planning to span from Third Year until after Hogwarts!
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of Child Abuse (not in this chapter and not graphic), Swearing (because, while I am not a teenage boy, I have teenage boy brothers and they swear a lot sooo)
> 
> Heads up:  
> 1) Sirius and James slash — not yet, not graphic, but someday soooo yeah :D  
> 2) I am not British. I am from America. I have never left America. (I would really like to go to other places, but unfortunately I am not yet rich and famous. I’m working on it. ;) )I’m trying to make it accurate and sound kinda British, but it probably won’t. Sorry!!! If you have any tips, I’d love to hear them! :)

September, Third Year

“Sirius!” 

“James!”

“Sirius!”

“I can see you! I can see you!”

“Me too!”

“Oi, of course you can see him, Sirius, we’re all in the same room.”

“Shut it, Remus, I mean I can see him in the mirror, you book-brained buffoon!”

“Hey, be a little nicer to him, Black, we’ll need his help on the Goblin Wars paper for tomorrow.”

“Ugh, gross! I’d forgotten that! Merlin, why’d you have to remind me James? You ruined my happiness!”

“I literally created your happiness with this gift!”

“And then took it away with such a swift swoop! It’s better to have never had then have lost, Jamie!”

“I’m pretty sure it goes the other way.”

“Does not. You don’t know anything about romance.”

“Because you do?”

“Do so! I’ll have you know that every girl in our year is after my heart!”

“Only cuz they’ve never spent two seconds alone with you.”

“You wound me! I’m crying!”

“You’re not crying, Sirius, I can see you.”

“The shimmer of the mirror is blocking my tears.”

“We’re in the same room, mate, I can tell you’re not crying.”

“Inside I’m crying.”

“You’re not crying inside, you’re mad inside.”

“Invalidating my feelings! I’ll have you know that internal crying is the worst kind.”

“There’s literally no such thing.”

“Yes there is, it’s like internal bleeding!”

“Is not.”

“Is so.”

“Is not.”

“God, James, I’m internally bleeding and you’re arguing with me!”

“You’re not internally bleeding!”

“How do you know?”

“I can see you!”

“Can you see inside me?”

“Er—“

“You can’t! You wouldn’t know if I—“

“Merlin, would you two shut up? If you don’t stop talking I won’t help you with history and no, Sirius, shut your fucking mouth, you are not internally bleeding.”

“....”

“....”

“....pst, Sirius, I think if we keep talking we’ll both be internally bleeding any second.”

“I’m already internally bleeding!”

“If either of you say any form of the word internal or bleeding again, so help me God I won’t help you with history for another five years.”

****

February , Third Year

“James.”

“Sirius.”

“I think Minnie’s flirting with me.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s always seriously with—“

“God, don’t finish that.”

“Why? It’s a good one.”

“The first hundred times maybe.”

“It has not been used a hundred times!”

“Voice down, Black, or your bird will hear.”

“My cat, you mean.”

“You dog!”

“Voice down, Jamie.”

“Fuck off, Black.”

“Merlin, why did they separate us?”

“I know!”

“I hate this.”

“I hate it more.”

“Uh, no, that’s literally not possible.”

“Uh, yes, it is.”

“Nope. It’s not.”

“Aw, did you just confess your undying love for me?”

“Yes, Jamie I love you so much. Let’s get married and have a mini James and a mini Sirius and a mini James Sirius and mini Sirius James and then—“

“Oi, Black, you’re gonna make Minnie jealous.”

“So be it! Maybe it’ll draw her back to me.”

“She left you! How could she?”

“I know! She’s literally at the front of the room yelling at someone else!”

“Who?”

“Ralphie Peters!”

“With the unibrow?”

“...”

“The unibrow, Sirius?”

“Er—well, yes.”

“Your bird left you for a fourteen-year-old with a unibrow?”

“Shut up.”

“Maybe you should, like, grow one and then she’ll come back to you!”

“How do I grow a unibrow, Jamie? Just think about it and I’ll sprout hair?”

“....You realize we’re literally wizards, right, mate?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Sirius, that was kinda loud...”

“Shit, she’s coming over!”

“Mate, you sound a little too happy.”

“Course I’m happy! My love is returning!”

“Er—“

“Gotta go, Jamie!”

“Good luck, my dear friend. Please don’t d—“

****

April, Third Year

“Sirius! Sirius! Sirius!”

“Shhhh.”

“D’you hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you. Keep it down or Pomfrey will too.”

“Merlin, I wish I was there.”

“No, you don’t. I’m in a cabinet with potions that smell like my mother’s underwear mixed with my father’s socks.”

“Oh, yummy.”

“Pervert.”

“Why’re you hiding?”

“So I’m not seen, you berk.”

“Didn’t you take the cloak?”

“Er—“

“Why didn’t you?”

“Pete took it to go to the kitchens!”

“The kitchens?”

“Like where there’s food. You know what food is, James?”

“Sod off. I get a fucking detention and everything all falls apart, huh?”

“I really don’t get what’s falling apart.”

“This whole sneak in and find out whether last night’s full moon killed Remus plan.”

“How exactly is it falling apart, Jamie?”

“I don’t know, Sirius, maybe because you’re in a medicine cabinet that smells like your mum’s panties and Pete’s guzzling biscuits without us!”

“I will have you know that I am immensely good at hiding.”

“So you like smelling like your mum’s panties?”

“Not as much as I like smelling like your mum’s panties.”

“I just threw up in my mouth, Black!”

“Now who needs to be in the hospital wing?”

“Well, I could be there if I didn’t—“

“Shut up. Pomfrey left! It’s time to make my move.”

“.....”

“.....”

“I can’t see you! What was that crashing?”

“Fuck, I tripped over some potion. Shit, James it’s on my pants!”

“‘S what you get for hiding in the potions closet, mate.”

“Fuck off. Now I gotta find Remus.”

“Okay.”

“Fuck, fuck fuck.”

“Lotta fucking you’re doing there, Black. Face doesn’t look like it though.”

“Shit, James. I found him. Merlin...”

“Lemme see!”

“Huh?”

“Turn it, idiot.”

“....okay, there.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Now who’s fucking?”

“God, Sirius, he looks bad bad.”

“I know.”

“Like he just got trampled by a herd of thestrals and then sat on by an elephant and then—“

“Run over by a Muggle motorbike?”

“Exactly!” 

“Merlin, James, we’ve got to do something. He’s our best friend.”

“I know, I know. I was thinking—“

“Thinking? You were thinking? Are you serious?”

“No, you’re Sirius, I’m James, moron.”

“How can I be Sirius and Moron?”

“They’re synonyms! Now, don’t you want to hear my brilliant plan?”

“Well—“

“Listen, werewolves don’t hurt animals, okay?”

“So what? You think we get him a dog? A cat? I fucking hate cats.”

“No, idiot, imagine if we were animals!”

“....”

“Brilliant, isn’t it?”

“James, I hate to break it to you, but while you might be an animalistic blood traitor, I am a civilized member of the Noble and Most—“

“Oh, come off it! I mean animaguses, Sirius!”

“Animaguses!”

“Animaguses!”

“Animagi!”

“Animagi!”

“That’s—“

“The best idea you’ve ever heard?”

“I hate to say it, but it might actually be.”

“I’m a genius!”

“Don’t be so proud, James. I’ve only lived fourteen years.”

****

Summer, Third Year

“James.”

“Sirius! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for bloody ages!”

“....”

“Sirius, I can’t see you.”

“....”

“Are you okay?”

“...yeah.”

“Don’t sound okay, mate.”

“Well, I am, James, so sod off.”

“If you’re so okay, why am I still looking at your wall instead of your face? Not that I don’t appreciate the view—that bird is fit! And that motorbike— oh. Oh. Oh, fuck your hair!”

“Or lack thereof.”

“Shit, it’s so short! It’s like a porcupine!”

“I don’t want my head to look like a porcupine, James!”

“I didn’t say you did!”

“...”

“Hey, c’mon, Sirius, it’s okay.”

“It’s okay.”

“It is.”

“I wasn’t—I mean, I wasn’t fucking crying.”

“You weren’t crying.”

“My eyes are just red.”

“Your eyes are just red.”

“Merlin, don’t be such parrot, James.”

“Merlin, don’t be such a parrot, Sirius.”

“You’re not gonna cheer me up!”

“I’m not gonna cheer you up?”

“I’m not laughing.”

“You’re not laughing?”

“I’m not—“

“Was that a laugh?”

“Shut up.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Dunno.”

“Kay.”

“I hate it here.”

“Yeah?”

“They like my hair, is the thing. Y’know how purebloods are, James. All long-hair and shit because it’s classy or whatever. They’re only making me shave it to show me that it’s a privilege that can be taken away.”

“Mhmm.”

“It’s just, it’s my hair! On my head!”

“That is true.”

“I guess I just hate that they fucking own me.”

“They don’t own you!”

“Have you heard what my last name is?”

“Doesn’t mean they own you. Shit, they’re basically just renting you for, like, a tiny bit of time and then boom they have to let you go.”

“...”

“Like a lease!”

“...James, I’m not sure this metaphor is making sense.”

“Er, well, no, but...”

“‘S’okay, it’s the thought that counts.”

“Aw, Sirius, are you turning into a big gushy girl?”

“If I am, it’s only because you rubbed off on me.”

“Not denying it, I see, Miss Black.”

“Not denying it Miss Potter.”

“Hey, at least if we were girls we could sneak into the birds dormitory and see—“

“What kind of underwear Meadows wears?”

“Well, now that you suggested it...”

“Merlin’s mangos, James, you’re such a pervert.”

“You suggested it!”

“But you thought it!”

“So did you if you said it!”

“Well, yes, but only because I was trying to think like you.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Yeah it does!”

“No it doesn’t!”

“Yeah it does!”

“Nope, nope, nope!”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever.”

“Hey, James?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, Sirius.”


	2. Fourth Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year friends!!! Hopefully this year will be better for all of us! =D
> 
> Here’s another chapter!! Hope you like it!
> 
> Warnings: swearing, talk of sexual themes

**October, Fourth Year**

“Sirius! Sirius! Sirius Black!”

“Where the bloody fuck are you, James?”

“What, no greeting?”

“Did you want one?”

“It would be nice, yeah.”

“Dearest James! How are you this fine night? How goest—“

“That’s enough.”

“You sure?”

“Mhmm.”

“Okay, then. Where the bloody fuck are you, James?”

“Didn’t you just ask that, mate?”

“I didn’t get an answer.”

"Er—I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“I’m lost.”

“Your idiocy astounds me sometimes, Jamie. It shouldn’t as you’ve already demonstrated it many times over, but still—”

“Sod off, Black! Listen, you’ll never believe what I found.”

“Remus wants to know if it’s the book you borrowed.”

“Well, no.”

“He wants me to ask you how the bloody fuck you lost the book, you wanker.”

“He did not say that.”

“I’m paraphrasing.”

“Merlin, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, it was just a stinking old book. I’d thought the birds would like it.”

“Remus doesn’t look too happy about that stinking old book comment, mate.”

“Look, that’s not the point! Don’t you want to know what I’ve found?”

“Pete asked if it’s those trousers his mum sent him.”

“What are you, a bloody howler? No, it’s not Pete’s trousers.”

“He’s crying. He’s literally crying, James!”

“You lot are so fucking dramatic!”

“Takes one to know one, my dearest James.”

“Fuck off. C’mon, don’t you wanna know what I found?”

“Well—“

“Doesn’t matter, I’m telling you.”

“Well then, go ahead and tell it.”

“I’m about to, Black. Drum roll, please!”

“Bum, bum, bum, James is a bum, bum, bum, bum!”

“I’m purposely ignoring that for the sake of my surprise. Okay, it’s a... secret passage!”

“Wait, really?”

“Really.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously, Sirius.”

“Now who made the joke?”

“Sod off. It’s a secret fucking passage!”

“Wow, already got plans for it, I see. Who’s the lucky bird?”

“That wasn’t what I meant and you know it!”

“Do I? Wait, where is the secret passage, James?”

“It’s under that one-eyed-witch statue that—“

“Looks like my mum?”

“Exactly! Looks exactly like your mum.”

“Psst, Remus is giving us a weird look.”

“Remus is—Merlin’s maroon marigolds!”

“What is it?”

“...”

“You alive, James?”

“I have just made the single most important discovery ever to be made by—“

“It’s not more of you dad’s dirty magazines, is it? Because that was just gross.”

“You’re gross. No, it’s better!”

“What could be better than thirty-year-old Wicked Witches summer edition with your dad’s—“

“Chocolate.”

“Chocolate?”

“Sirius, I’m in the basement of Honeyduke’s. There’s so much chocolate!”

“Well, that might just top magazines covered in Fleamont’s—“

“Black, don’t you dare finish that or I won’t bring you back any chocolate.”

  
  


****

  
  


**Christmas, Fourth Year**

“James.”

“Oi, Black, where you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since the holiday began.”

“Don’t ask.”

“You in a mood?”

“No.”

“So yes?”

“So, no. God, James.”

“Whatever you say, mate.”

“I just fucking hate it here and I fucking hate Christmas parties and do you know who Narcissa’s marrying?”

“Er, is that the hot one, the blood traitor one, or the crazy one?”

“We’re Blacks, James, we’re all mad. It’s in the blood.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Bella is especially mad, even for us. Did I tell you she stole Reggie’s toad, Clarence, to try and hatch a basilisk?”

“Regulus’ toad is named Clarence?”

“Was, James. Dear old Clarence didn’t survive the plan. Few things ever do, when Bella’s involved.”

“So she’s getting married?”

“No, Cissy’s getting married.”

“So the hot one?”

“Again, we’re Blacks. We’re all devastatingly attractive. It’s in the blood.”

“Must’ve skipped a generation with you, mate.”

“Sod off. You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I? I mean, if I were bent, which I’m not, I’d totally go for Pete.”

“Jamieeeeeee! How could you say that, you absolute wanker! You’re breaking my heart. I mean, Pete over me? Me?”

“Think I’d get less black eyes with Pete.”

“Sure, if you want your arse kissed constantly.”

“My arse could use some kissing.”

“Could use kicking, s’what it could use.”

“Moving on from my beautiful arse tragically getting kicked, who exactly is marrying who?”

“Narcissa, my cousin who you think is especially hot, is marrying Lucius Malfoy.”

“The blond one?”

“Every Malfoy’s blond. It’s like their one trait except being posh gits.”

“I’m not gonna point out that you’re a posh git too.”

“Well, thank you so much, dearest Jamison James, for not pointing that out—“

“So he is blond?”

“Yes.”

“Wait, with the long blond hair? With the hair that you want?”

“I don’t want Lucius’ hair, James.”

“You said you did, you totally said so.”

“I said I wanted his hair style, not his hair.”

“Same difference.”

“I don’t want blond hair, Jamie, I’d look like an utter idiot.”

“Spent a lot of time thinking about this, huh?”

“Oh, fuck off. I’m not the one who takes two literal hours in the bathroom every morning.”

“Pot calling the kettle black.”

“Black or black?”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind, James.”

“...oh, wait it’s a pun.”

“Yep.”

“Sirius, I’m so punny!”

“Sure, James, sure.”

  
  


****

  
  


**February, Fourth Year**

  
  


"Sirius!"

"James."

"Is Bob around?"

"Who the fuck is Bob?"

"Don't you remember? We're using code names now."

"I told you that was a stupid idea."

"Pete thought it was a good idea!"

"Peter would think chasing his own tail was a good idea if you suggested it."

"He doesn't have a tail."

"And he won't, at the rate you lot are going."

"About that—"

"Merlin, Pete didn't spit out the leaf again, did he?"

"Well…"

"You spit out the leaf? James!"

"It wasn't my fault!"

"What, did Snivellus pry it out or something?"

"Er, no…"

"Then how isn't it your fault, dear James?"

"Well, I was talking to Evans and—"

"And you spit it out?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Wait, was she watching? She was watching when you spit it out?"

"...."

"Fuck, you spit out onto her, didn't you?"

"Only on her shoe! And maybe a little spit got on her robes too, now that I think about it."

"Merlin, seriously? Shit, James."

"I know."

"God, your face must have been so red.”

“I know!”

"That's actually hilarious. Like I would’ve paid a few galleons to see that."

"Can you ever just be supportive, Sirius?”

“Of what? Your failed attempts to woo Evans or your inability to keep a leaf in your mouth?”

“Either.”

“Well, Evans already hates you and is disgusted by you so it’s not like you could’ve possibly made it much worse.”

“Thanks, I guess?”

“You’re welcome, Jamie.”

“...”

“Okay, you want me to say something nice?”

“Yes, please, mate.”

“Alright. You’re the best bloke around and Evans is crazy to not want to go out with you. Right mad.”

“Aw, Sirius.”

“Aw, James, don’t be such a bird.”

“You mean it?”

“...’Course. Now, onward ho! Go forth and find another Mandrake leaf, James!”

“Aw, love you too, Black.”

  
  


*****

  
  


**April, Fourth Year**

“Psst, James. James. James!”

“Sirius?”

“No, Dumbledore, you berk. Yes, Sirius!”

“Are you in the loo?”

“...Yes?”

“You’re not constipated, are you?”

“Why would I be constipated?”

“Dunno. Pete was constipated the other day and asked me to go to Pomfrey and get him—“

“I’m not constipated!”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes!”

“I could get you some of the potion—“

“You’re just trying to embarrass me, aren’t you?”

“...Maybe...So if you’re not constipated, what’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be with Maddie at Madam Puddifoot’s?”

“Er, yes.”

“Then why aren’t you there?”

“I’m there in the bathroom.”

“They have a bathroom?”

“Yes. It’s rather small. There’s two condoms in the wastebasket.”

“Used?”

“What do you think?”

“A boy can dream. Okay, so you’re in the bathroom and obviously, you’re not shagging Maddie there.”

“You really are brilliant, aren’t you?”

“That’s what my mum always said! Though, I’ll be honest, Sirius, I don’t really get what the problem here is. Did Maddie ditch you?”

“No. I wish she would, though.”

“Why?”

“She started snogging me, James! Like snogging, snogging and it was fucking gross—“

“Snogging her was gross? Have you seen her chest, mate?”

“...Yes. But that doesn’t mean she’s a good snogger, James! Especially not when there’s a fucking table between us!”

“Okay. So she’s a bad snogger and then, what, you ran off to the bathroom?”

“It was getting claustrophobic! She kept backing up and giving me these sickening looks and saying how she liked this and that and that other thing and also the thing in that other shop and isn’t my family like the richest in Britain? Merlin, James, I couldn’t stand it.”

“And now you’re hiding in the bathroom.”

“A tactical retreat, my dear James, a tactical retreat.”

“Whatever lets you sleep at night, Sirius. What are you gonna do now?”

“Hmmm.”

“You could go out and end things with her.”

“I could.”

“What’s the but?”

“Or some brave, valiant, knight could come rescue me from the clutches of the feared Maddie.”

“Me?”

“Or you could do it.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“C’mon, James, I need moral support. ‘S my first break up this month.”

“...Okay. Dorcas already left, anyway.”

“What, when? Your date abandoned you?”

“About the time I brought up constipation.”

“How could she abandon you? For bringing up a natural process of life! What a—“

“You realize you’re in the process of abandoning your date, right?”

“Well, that's different, James.”

“How?”

“Just is.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Happy Holidays if you celebrate!!
> 
> Let me know what you think if you want!! :D


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